Career Turned Dating Advice

Do you ever notice sometimes, how we can be really good at asking/telling people what we want in lots of aspects of our life: Like the girl at the counter giving us bad customer service, or your mom when she's pissing you off, or even better, yet in your relationships. Why can we have no problem telling someone we're dating what we want or what we're looking for, but don't ask for we want at work? Why is it so intimidating to ask for what we want?

Well just think about how much energy, and time, we've put into dating for example, and really being able to speak up and ask our significant others for what we want, working on our communication skills once we realized they didn't read minds (though the jury is still out on that one), and being sure to speak up when we find something acceptable (which is probably the easiest, huh). I mean at this point, I feel like I've perfected speaking up in relationships - maybe to a fault.... but I digress.

I achieve a lot more in dating when I ask for I want, or make what I want known. Even if that means that it let's someone else know if we want different things, and you keep moving forward.

What if we put in as much energy as we do into dating, the conversations, the mastering of the right texting and wording, into getting ahead at work? Can you imagine, how far we would get??



So, I've decided to take some excerpts from some of my favorite Hoo-Rah Women Self-Help Books regarding relationships, and applied them to work!. This should be fun.

• "An Inner Bitch Relationship Tip: Do not wait until you 'feel secure' in the relationship before telling the other person what you want". - This says a lot. Couldn't agree more. Why wait until you are two years in your job, to then let your boss know what your expectations, goals, and the general path that you want to be on? They will not read your mind, and unlike men, will not pretend they can...(1)

• "You have to keep from being sucked down into quicksand. Unless you maintain control over yourself, the relationship is doomed...The bitch is not governed by fear of losing a man, because she knows the real price to pay is when she loses herself" - Working to maintain control of yourself applies to all aspects of your life. Think about that person (well, Woman) at your job (because everyone has one) that works 200%, bends over backwards, and has been in the same position for 3 years. Hell that sounds like me or even you. What happened there? We lost sight of the goals. Dating and life got in the way, and we forgot what we were working towards at work. We gave too much of ourselves, that your job felt it didn't need to give... back. (2)

• "He's Just Not That Into You if he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak" - Ha Okay a little extreme. But the point remains. Is work making you happy? Does your job express through ways that matter to you, that your happiness in your position and your growth is important? If not, then it's time to re-consider a new plan with the company and put it into action, and if there are no alternatives to make you happy, consider when the appropriate time to start looking would be. (3)

Bottom line?: Don't expect everyone in your career to toot your own horn, and just wait for appreciation and a promotion to come to you. If you're with a company who recognizes you continuously, great. But at some point you may have to speak up. Closed mouths don't get fed, and like with men, subtle hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. You have to Ask for what you want. Be fearless in every aspect of your life.

...Oh, and the next time you read a piece of advice about men or relationships, think about...Hmm how could I apply this to my job/career.....

References:
1) Getting In Touch With Your Inner Bitch - Lois Frankel
2) Why Men Love Bitches - Sherry Argov
3) He's Just Not That Into You - Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo