Meeting my new Jamaican love was so unexpected. The fact that he is my
good friend's brother, was even more unexpected. But our organic growth
into something special was well worth the wait [and the ridiculous
dating stories]. I just never thought that once I met someone who was
everything I never knew I needed, that it could be a stressful
adjustment.
At least for me it was definitely an adjustment. I'm an uber-independent, single-apartment living, weekly happy hours with the girls, drunken stupors at company happy hours kind of gal. And no, I'm not embarrassed. In fact, if you've been reading my blog, despite the ridiculous ppl (men) I encounter, I actually love my life. Then...BAM. He comes along, unexpectedly. Which is always what they say right?
Read more after the jump......
[Backstory: My Jamaican love and I were apparently a year in the making. Especially since I met him in February 2012. I got the feeling inside the second I saw him, but he was my good friend's brother. What do you do with that? Certainly that's an unwritten rule. So we did nothing. Until I saw him again 10 months later for Christmas. With his sister's blessing, he's been mine every since :) ]
Moving on....
As happy as I am, the adjustment from fabulously single gal to ball and chain had it's interesting times. You've read my stories; the men I date are usually, in the mob, or gay. As confident as I am, It had been so long since I'd been willing to open up to someone the way I was with him, and be willing to compromise. I tend not to do a lot of that, since I hadn't really met someone who was worth it.
I did a good job at keeping most of those adjustment freak-out thoughts and moments to myself, but sometimes I found myself thinking, maybe things should be "this way." Or maybe a and b should happen before c. I should be this way, or he should say this first. Should-ing all over myself, listening to my 18 year old' self and other's ideas of how relationships should be. All that did was put unnecessary pressure on myself.
I couldn't let my over-thinking get in the way of this wonderful thing (and he wouldn't either thank goodness!). Why should I? I know I always tell ppl, that in this world, men have to pick you. Sounds funny, but my point is, when men see and know what they want, they are present. So was he. There wasn't a day that went by that I did not hear from him and vice versa.
Finding a good man ended up actually being slightly intimidating for me, and it could've been so easy to ruin that with my irriational fears and unreasonable pressure on myself to shape this relationship to look like something I'd seen or read somewhere or what other ppl think, instead of sitting back and enjoying the special bond that we had. This was the first time I could be completely myself and our relationship is fun and inappropriate, and I love it.
In the end, I've never been more sure of anything (except that I was born to be fabulous). My sureness only happened because we were both open to receive each other. You can't let rigid ideas of relationships take over. There may be things around you that try to tell you how your relationship should be or how fast or slow you should be going, but you can't be afraid to open yourself up. When something good actually does come along (and don't expect everyone around you to be happy when it does) try a new boundary and write your own rules. How fun would that be?
Follow Me:
Facebook: Into.It.
Twitter: @RamonaWrites
IG: Ramonalisa30
At least for me it was definitely an adjustment. I'm an uber-independent, single-apartment living, weekly happy hours with the girls, drunken stupors at company happy hours kind of gal. And no, I'm not embarrassed. In fact, if you've been reading my blog, despite the ridiculous ppl (men) I encounter, I actually love my life. Then...BAM. He comes along, unexpectedly. Which is always what they say right?
Read more after the jump......
[Backstory: My Jamaican love and I were apparently a year in the making. Especially since I met him in February 2012. I got the feeling inside the second I saw him, but he was my good friend's brother. What do you do with that? Certainly that's an unwritten rule. So we did nothing. Until I saw him again 10 months later for Christmas. With his sister's blessing, he's been mine every since :) ]
Moving on....
As happy as I am, the adjustment from fabulously single gal to ball and chain had it's interesting times. You've read my stories; the men I date are usually, in the mob, or gay. As confident as I am, It had been so long since I'd been willing to open up to someone the way I was with him, and be willing to compromise. I tend not to do a lot of that, since I hadn't really met someone who was worth it.
I did a good job at keeping most of those adjustment freak-out thoughts and moments to myself, but sometimes I found myself thinking, maybe things should be "this way." Or maybe a and b should happen before c. I should be this way, or he should say this first. Should-ing all over myself, listening to my 18 year old' self and other's ideas of how relationships should be. All that did was put unnecessary pressure on myself.
I couldn't let my over-thinking get in the way of this wonderful thing (and he wouldn't either thank goodness!). Why should I? I know I always tell ppl, that in this world, men have to pick you. Sounds funny, but my point is, when men see and know what they want, they are present. So was he. There wasn't a day that went by that I did not hear from him and vice versa.
Finding a good man ended up actually being slightly intimidating for me, and it could've been so easy to ruin that with my irriational fears and unreasonable pressure on myself to shape this relationship to look like something I'd seen or read somewhere or what other ppl think, instead of sitting back and enjoying the special bond that we had. This was the first time I could be completely myself and our relationship is fun and inappropriate, and I love it.
In the end, I've never been more sure of anything (except that I was born to be fabulous). My sureness only happened because we were both open to receive each other. You can't let rigid ideas of relationships take over. There may be things around you that try to tell you how your relationship should be or how fast or slow you should be going, but you can't be afraid to open yourself up. When something good actually does come along (and don't expect everyone around you to be happy when it does) try a new boundary and write your own rules. How fun would that be?
Follow Me:
Facebook: Into.It.
Twitter: @RamonaWrites
IG: Ramonalisa30
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